Would You Clean Up Vomit for a Stranger?

I sat in church on Sunday watching the minutes on the clock slowly tick away. The clock wasn’t moving fast enough. Having three kids, any of whom could erupt into a tirade at any moment in a setting like church, that is supposed to have some level of reverence, is anything but relaxing for me and Jackie. I couldn’t focus on the message. How could I? There were way too many things that could go wrong at any second.

A dad on the other side of the aisle stood up to take his kid to the bathroom. He had an orange Skittle stuck to his crotch. Maybe it was an M&M? I’m not sure. I didn’t ask. The timing didn’t seem quite right.

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What Bob Vila Never Told You About Home Improvement

HGTV would have you believe that it takes exactly 22 minutes to erect a brownstone from the ground up on Manhattan Island. The reality is that it takes a lot of planning, execution, and a serious amount of problem solving for any type of home improvement or renovation. It’s also likely, that if you’re doing the projects yourself, you’ll end up electrocuted, covered in poop, or without eyebrows.

We moved into a new house a couple of years ago which means we’ve been getting things settled and adding our own personal touches to the living space. We also have an unfinished basement that’s needed some tender loving care since we’re running out of space in our upper level. Kids just keep showing up out of nowhere and I have no idea how it’s happening. (If you understand the phenomenon of children appearing out of thin air, please explain to me how that works in the comments. Thank you in advance).

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7 Steps for Surviving a Weekend Trip to Costco

The most chivalrous act any man can perform is to take his wife and three kids to Costco… on a Saturday. For richer or for poorer pales in comparison to committing to fighting off senior citizens for the last Lorna Doone at the sample table while simultaneously keeping three kids from building a fort out of bulk bundles of fleece footie pajamas and gallon cans of creamed corn.

Note: One thing to know about senior citizens is that they fight dirty. Fist fights don’t intimidate them because all their teeth are fake. They’ve also been around long enough to know that groin shots are extremely effective. Plus, they have canes and/or electric wheelchairs (I’m not sure why but those items seem intimidating to me).

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Pixar Cares

The number one rule of parenting is “sleep when your children are sleeping.” My boys have been asleep for hours and I can’t go to bed without writing my thoughts down while they’re still fresh. I had what I considered to be a really funny Leap Day post (I know, I’m my own biggest fan) scheduled for today, but even if I don’t publish it for another four years, that’s the the way it needs to be. Today’s message is too important to delay.

The giant pile of Pixar swag you see in the photo above, that was sent to us in a FedEx box yesterday, for free.

It wasn’t part of a sponsorship deal.

They didn’t ask me to blog about their new movie coming out this summer. Like they need the publicity, right?

They didn’t even ask me to tell my neighbors about it.

They simply included a note that said the following:

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