10 Things Everyone Should Consider Before Having a Baby

Having a newborn back in our house has reminded me of a whole slew of details about being a parent that I’ve somehow forgotten along the way. My suspicion is that, on every child’s first birthday, one of the Men in Black stops by and does the flashy thingy to new parents, completely erasing all recollection of hardships or trials. Otherwise, every family on earth would have exactly one child.

Luckily I’ve outsmarted the system. Up until now I had no written record of the craziness that can take place when raising a newborn baby, but today that changes. Today I’m going to share with you a list of some of the things that I had forgotten about taking care of babies. Not only will I be doing a public service by sharing these details with anyone considering having a child, but I’ll also have this as a record to reference in case Jackie ever makes those “let’s-have-another-baby” eyes at me.

Keep reading…

Go Big by Thinking Small

Grandiose visions are my Achilles’ heel. “Dream Big” is really dangerous territory for me because I’m perfectly capable of dreaming all day long. That’s not to say that I don’t have long term goals, but accomplishing all of the mini-steps leading up to that Mecca proves nearly impossible for me.

“I’m going to build a successful company from the ground up.”

“I’m going to write a best-selling book.”

“I’m going to get a Master’s Degree.”

“I’m going to run a marathon.”

These are all things I’ve said at some point in my life. Well, everything except for the marathon — I’m not a crazy person. Some of those goals I’ve already crossed off my list because they were very temporary obsessions, not true passions. However, some of them are still in the works. Knowing which of the above goals I’m still hustling to achieve is highly classified at this point. Are you drawn in by the mystery? Didn’t think so…

Keep Reading…

Party of Five

Have you ever ended a date at the hospital?

I did.

On Valentine’s Day of all days.

Believe it or not it had the perfect ending.

As the date ended at 4:36am on Wednesday, Patrick Jack’s life began.

It’s one thing to drive a minivan, but actually needing all of the seats is surreal.

We’re five days in and we’ve already had our share of adventures… including two instances of public urination. But that’s a story for another day (and please don’t call the cops).

We’ve also begun the process of building a boxing ring in our basement. No doubt that’s going to come in handy down the road.

We can’t wait for all the good times to come.

I mean, we are a PARTY of five, right?

The Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Men

Valentine’s Day is BY FAR the the worst “holiday” ever. I’m not anti-romance by any means, but the anxiety that Cupid can bring to a guy on the 14th of February can only be rivaled by trying to open that plastic clamshell packaging that all electronics come in nowadays.

We get frazzled way too easily.

Believe it or not I wasn’t really a Cassanova in high school (seriously, wipe the shocked look off of your face). I remember that the student council was doing some kind of fundraiser and they were letting students send Valentine’s to each other.You could send a rose for 3 bucks and a cookie for 2 bucks. How they felt good about that kind of price gouging in an institution of public learning I’ll never know, but I remember stressing about those Valentine’s so much.

Valentine’s Day is rough on us guys

My Pinterest Soapbox and Vlogging on VYou

I’ve resisted Pinterest for a long time. I promise I’ve been following the hype but for me it’s been just that. Hype. For me it was a giant honey-do list.

The following is a simulation not a representation of actual events (yeah, right):

“OMG this is the cutest thing ever and I want to SQUEE but I don’t have time to make it so can you make it for me honey? I’ll love you forever and ever!”

Click for more Pinterest rant