RYAN D. SULLIVAN

For some reason Labor Day this year made me feel very “thirty.” My birthday was last November but as I reflected on the events of Monday morning I couldn’t help but realize that I’ve become the sober Frank the Tank.

Here’s a quick recap of yesterday’s events so you can get a feel for what ‘m talking about.

5:30am – Wake up and watch Phineas and Ferb. Also, do all the parenty stuff like make sure the kids get food outside of Disney-themed fruit snacks.

8:30am – Step outside for some fresh air and a healthy dose of yard work. Celebrate the day of Labor!

11:30am – Load up the family in the white minivan and head out for an exciting day at the outdoor mall. While there we visited American institutions like the Cheesecake Factory and the Disney Store (It’s like Vegas with zero possibility of winning). If this isn’t partying I don’t know what is! We also let Patrick try his first lime! (This is pretty entertaining if you have an extra 28 seconds).

5:00pm – Return home and begin to settle down so we can be rested for a new week of adventure! I took some time to do a little work but nothing major. The day was officially starting to wind down at this point.

8:00pm – Realize we’re out of milk and run to the store to get some. Being without milk for any length of time in this house will result in guaranteed mutiny.

8:45pm – Get a haircut.

9:30pm – Go to bed.

Now, this is where the excitement really starts! As we laid watching 48 Hours Mystery (like I said, I’m SO thirty), Jackie cuddled up next to me. Then, out of the corner of my eye I spotted something as I fast forwarded through the commercials. I had to rewind it once or twice just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

Macys.com was having a Labor Day Sale!!!

It was 50% off all their luggage with an ADDITIONAL 10% off until Midnight EST. Suddenly my heart started to race as I realized we had exactly 28 minutes to place an order or miss out on these amazing saving forever. And we really needed luggage!

I leaped out of bed and headed for the office. As I quickly scoured reviews of each luggage set I felt as thought the “Add to Cart” button had become my version of the green, red, or blue wires. What if I click the wrong one? Will we all be doomed?

AND DID I MENTION FREE SHIPPING? FOR LUGGAGE!

As the minutes ticked away I knew that the moment of truth was near. What would we choose? Would we buy anything at all?

We found a few pieces of luggage and checked out at 9:52pm. We didn’t want a botched order to ruin our chances at such massive savings, so we left an 8 minute buffer.

We received the order confirmation and were able to breathe a sigh of relief. The final receipt said we had saved $501.24 on our purchase.

A sense of overwhelming accomplishment came over me.

I did it. I saved us all from overpaying for luggage.

This is how thirty I am. And honestly? It’s not too bad